Let's just let the hormones COMPLETELY take over today, why don't we

I've blogged before about how I usually avoid paying attention to much of the news because I find it depressing, but yesterday I read about a well publicized case about a girl that was kidnapped at the age of 11 and just recently found, now at the age of 28. You can find this story on your own if you care to, and I don't plan on discussing the details, but it's a heartbreaking and disturbing story. My little brother Ralphie is 11 and I just can't bear to think of him (or any one, of course) being abducted, and how horrible and terrifying that would be.

I usually try to keep the blog posts upbeat, but this story brought up anxieties that I've had many times before about raising children in this world where terrible things like this happen. It makes me want to live in a bunker/homeschool/make my kids wear leashes until they're 30/check my neighborhood for convicted sex offenders/and then NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE.

So I ask you, my friends, how do you teach your kids to be wary and street smart but not fearful? How do you protect them but let them gain their independence gradually as well? Can I microchip my kid? My CAT has a microchip, for heaven's sakes! Most of all, how do you avoid parenting out of fear and anxiety, which I think kids can feed off of and rebel against more easily.

Looking forward to some good advice...

Large and In Charge

35 1/2 weeks

A New Job

I finished my fellowship at the VA this past Friday. The VA police took my badge and told me I no longer had access to the hospital. Which I thought was funny because anyone can waltz into the VA, not having my badge just means I can't ride the service elevator anymore, which is sometimes faster than the regular elevators.

The past year I spent doing the Palliative Care Fellowship taught me so much. For the first time in my life, I spent time with people who were actively dying. I watched people die with faith and courage. I watched people die angry and alone. Sometimes I got to offer words of comfort or link people to helpful resources and benefits. But mostly I got to listen, and hold hands, and think more about matters of life and death than the average 25-year-old. I hope that it made me a little wiser.

Now I am moving on to my new job: being a mom. No one interviewed me. No one checked to make sure I really got my degrees. No one even did a background check or urine screen, and let me tell you, every job I've had as a social worker has required these. (I pass every time, in all 3 states I've worked in, so feel very safe when I babysit your children). In spite of all this, if everything goes according to plan, Tim and I are going to have our very own baby human, that is half Tim, half me.

I am thrilled. I am terrified. I am very, very excited to meet her.

This will be my first job with no way out: I can't quit, it won't end, I am a mother forever.

I hope forever is long enough to learn how to do it well.

Wish me luck.

Carla, I hope this makes you happy

This is at 32 weeks. Now I'm at 33 1/2 weeks, but who's counting?

Music to my ears

Yesterday I heard six little words that made me so happy:

"Careful, these fries are really hot."

Ohhhhh thank you, I do like hot McDonald's fries.

It reminded me of when Tim and I went to our childbirthing class and the teacher asked us to go around and say what we thought the best part of being pregnant was.

"Feeling the baby move."

"The excitement."

"The attention."

And then it was my turn. I smiled sweetly at the doula, Miss "I love mucus plugs and everything about birth but those epidurals are so risky and you really shouldn't get one", and said,

"Eating whatever I want."

There were audible gasps. Everyone was embarrassed for me except Tim, who might have been a little proud. Or who might have been adopting a blank stare at that point already, not sure.