Hello, lover

Who needs a husband now that I have a Boppy body pillow?



Just kidding, Timbo, I need you. Come home!

Raw food diet

My mom and stepdad are doing the raw food diet. I was trying to explain what it is to my Wisconsin coworkers.

"They eat only foods that are raw, and they don't eat any meat."

"What?"

"How does that taste good?"

"People really do that?"

"Yeah, there's even restaurants in California where they serve only raw food."

"Well, I believe there's places like that, in Cal-i-for-nia."

"Why would you pay three times as much for food that isn't even cooked?"

I couldn't really answer that question.

Hello, best friend

These never leave my side anymore. The other day cereal gave me heartburn, which I didn't know was possible.

The backhanded compliment

Since I am a Social Worker "Trainee" I get to share an office with whoever "they" (the Feds) want me to. It's cool, I don't really mind sharing an office.

My past officemate had all sorts of cutesy nicknames for me. Every day, several times a day, I was greeted with:

"Hi Pumpkin."

"Hey Baby."

"Hi Sugar, howyoudoin?"

"Oh hey, Sweetie."

No lie, that got old, but I think she was just trying to be nice. She was also an expert at giving really funny backhanded compliments. These don't actually offend me, because I'M A REALLY GOOD PERSON, and also I have to laugh as I wonder what brain filter is missing when people say these types of things. I thought this one would amuse you.

Today she came to visit me (she moved out last week), and said, "Oh, hi Pumpkin! You look pretty today!"

"Oh, thanks!"

"Like you're better rested or something."

"Mmmm..."

"Much better than last week, you weren't sleeping very well last week were you?"

(Doing the "I'm so busy I can barely even hear you" act) "Hmmm no I guess not..."

Happiness

I was looking through our pictures today and came across this one. This is Team Rauch + 1, the 1 being Ms. Jess King. Last summer Jess's husband Jon had to move to Madison for his residency and Jess stayed behind in Milwaukee to finish her PA program. We continued our Saturday morning tradition of going for bike rides along the lake, with one small difference. Instead of letting the boys tear off ahead, Jess and I made Tim draft for us in front of the pace line. Guess who got to ride at the end and get the least resistance? Me!

During one of these Saturday morning rides Jess and I started talking about when we were hoping to start having kids. We found out it happened to be the same time. Now she is pregnant as well, about 6 weeks behind me, and having a little girl, too. So much to be grateful for...

Older couple? You sure about that?

Yesterday Tim and I were walking Dirk in the park near our house when we passed some young teenage hooligans (love that word). One of the boys was showing off for the girls and said a naughty word.

Then he saw us walking by and said, "Oh, I apologize for my language...uh, you guys are an older couple, with a baby, uh...sorry."

Then I said, "Dirk, attack! DO YOU WANNA LIVE TO SEE TOMORROW, KID??"

Just kidding.

I started laughing and Tim couldn't decide whether he was going to make his irritated face or laugh. As he said, "I'm still processing that."

You know, the neighbor, Sally

Before Tim and I moved to Milwaukee we lived in the small coastal town of Los Osos. It was great. Across the street from the house we lived in there lived a really nice couple, Sally and Bob. They were great as well.

Fast forward to living in Milwaukee, where we now have a neighbor that lives across the alley from us.

She's really nice. Last summer she let us pick tomatoes out of her yard whenever we wanted to, and she helped my mom rescue our cat from the neighbor's garage when she was trapped there.

She doesn't look like our old neighbor Sally.

She doesn't drive the same car as Sally did.

She doesn't have a husband named Bob.

She doesn't even have two dogs like Sally did. She has a cat. That she takes for walks. On a leash. Named Vanilla.

But for the life of me, every time I see her I want to call her Sally. And I have, on numerous occasions, done this. Not just mumbled it where she could think that she didn't hear me correctly, I've hollered, "Hi Sally!" across the street, across the alley, from the car, you name it.

Ok.

Here's the bad part.

We've lived in this house two years now.

Ok.

Here's the worst part.

Her

name

is

Sara.

Mom always said, You can never be too prepared

Me: I'm excited to wash and put all the baby clothes away in the new dresser but I'm going to wait until we're closer to the due date.

Mom: Why?

Me: I dunno, I just want them to be freshly washed, not just sitting in the drawers for a couple of months.

Mom: You should wash them now and get some of those vacuum sealed bags from Target.

Hmmm...yes...or I could wait.

But Mom, lest you think I am ignoring your words of wisdom, I am now the proud owner of 219 newborn size diapers. You told me I should start cutting coupons and stocking up, so there you go. It's a start.