Goodbye for now, Nonna

My beloved Nonna, my dad's mom, passed away on December 16th. I have been wanting to post about this for days, but have had a difficult time finding the words to accurately describe what a wonderful woman my Nonna was, and how much she meant to me.

I wanted her to be around to see my next baby, and any more. I wanted her to get to spend more time with Tim, because he never got to travel as much as I did to visit her. I wanted her to always be just a phone call away. I know she was worn out, in more ways than one. Her eyesight was a particular frustration for her, as with its degeneration she had lost the ability to do many of the things she loved, especially cooking, crocheting, sewing, and in general, doing things for her family.

My Nonna was the nicest lady you could probably ever meet, but she wasn't only kind, she was strong. She was widowed at age 37 with 5 young children. She had two sets of twins, and one "singlet", my Uncle Joe. After delivering my dad and Uncle John, she was blind for about 10 days after. She nursed her first husband through lung cancer until his death. She outlived all of her three younger siblings, and I'm sure, many of her dear friends. She had an unshakable faith in God and in God's will, even though I imagine it wasn't always easy as she faced her trials.

I will miss hearing her stories. I will miss calling her on the phone and having her tell me that I'm such a natural mother that it seems like I've already had six children. I will miss her hugs, and her special, clean scent. I will miss going to stay with her and taking her to the beauty salon to get her hair and nails done. I will try to remember, when I'm having a tough day as a mother, that she told me her fondest memories were of the days when she was raising her young children.

We had a really nice conversation a couple of weeks before she died. She had fallen, and had a stroke, and I knew I had to go see her. I sat by her bedside, and unlike the day before, she seemed to recognize me and was able to say some things. She took my hand and said, "Hi", and kissed it. I started bawling. She shook her head and said, "I love you". I told her that I loved her too, and that she was very special to me. She held my hand and said, "Very important to me". I told her that I knew she couldn't say everything that she wanted to but that I remembered everything she had said to me, and I would do my best to follow all the good advice she'd given me. Before I left she told me, "I love you with all my heart". This is also how my dad has always told me he loves me. It was the best goodbye I could hope for from a beautiful lady that I look forward to meeting again someday.

I am so grateful for the knowledge and assurance that I have of the life after this one, of resurrection, of families getting to be together forever. Especially at this time of year I am so overwhelmingly thankful for Jesus Christ, the humble babe born in a manger, our perfect example, who gave his life so freely so that we could all, including my Nonna, live again.

Me, Nonna, my mom, in front of the Newport LDS Temple.

Nonna, my Uncle Joe, at her home in Huntington Landmark, celebrating my brother's 22nd birthday.

Me, Nonna, my little sister Jamie, celebrating my Nonna's 87th birthday.

My cousins Rena, Jennifer, Nonna, me, Aunt Mary.

I know this picture is blurry, but I like it because she's smiling.

With her and her sister's namesake, Lily Margaret, Christmas 2009.

Lily, Nonna, Jamie.

Again with Lily in April 2010.